Manners

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 

Surat al-Hujurat is also called “Surat al-Aadab”, meanings the Chapter of Manners. It contains invaluable advice on how we should conduct ourselves. The first lesson that I took:

49:6
O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful. [Qur’an, 49:6]

 

So many people fall out with one another because of what they heard from someone else. They do not investigate nor do they do not ask to ensure that it is true. Even if a person is your close your friend telling you something, it could be that they misheard or misinterpreted. But don’t act upon what you heard in a rash way, because you will regret it. This actually makes me think of the media nowadays. I try to take everything I hear with a pinch of salt, especially things that sound fishy.

Next up:

 

49:12
O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful. [Qur’an, 49:12]

 

Thinking bad of people is seriously the worst thing we can do because it opens up the doors to other things. And you are the first person who is harmed. You create negativity within yourself. You wonder why a person did x, and it must be because they don’t like you or because they are bad and so on. You also hurt yourself more than anyone else could hurt you.

 

Then your harm reaches others. These negative assumptions lead to, at the very least, you acting on those assumptions by spying or backbiting. And those things are like eating the dead flesh of your brother/sister.

 

A beautiful hadith reminds us:

“There are two good qualities that cannot be topped [with something better] if they are found in a person: Thinking well of Allah, and thinking well of the servants of Allah. And there are two bad qualities, if they are found in a person, they cannot be topped [with something worse]: Thinking bad of Allah, and thinking bad of the servants of Allah”

 

Always remind yourself that you don’t know. There may be an excuse you did not think of. And if it turns out for certain that someone has done something bad out of bad intentions, then they only harm themselves. Protect yourself, but feel at peace. Because Allah is with those who are wronged.

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