بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
We all intend to make this Ramadan the best one yet. That is an amazing intention to have. But what determines an ‘amazing’ Ramadan?
I have found that we think it of it in one of two ways: 1) We try to recreate the same feeling we had during a Ramadan that we loved 2) we don’t know what amazing is, but we expect to feel it.
This Ramadan taught me something. A few years ago, I had what I can describe was my best Ramadan. I worshiped so much more. My heart was in my prayers and supplications. Every moment was spent reading Qur’an. And the effect lasted until after Ramadan as well. I read more Qur’an than I usually do after Ramadan. I was determined to do more.
Fast forward to the Ramadan after. I was broken internally. I was also tired. I was facing some difficulties. So it was a Ramadan in which I poured my heart out to Allah. I felt so in need.
The months preceding Ramadan have a huge effect on how our Ramadan is. That amazing Ramadan I had was preceded with activism, seeking knowledge, serenity of heart and lots of time. The Ramadan after it followed months of pressure and hardship.
But both Ramadans were the perfect medicines for my state at the time. And I think, and God knows best, that is how we measure Ramadan. Not by recreating a feeling, because it becomes so disappointing if we fail to do so, but by making Ramadan the cure to our current state.
This Ramadan I have been a bit more tired. But I set my goals. And I hope to achieve them. They include Qur’an, du’a, family, softening of the heart and community. The months preceding this Ramadan I have felt a little far. It took me more effort to do things I was used to doing before. So while this Ramadan did not recreate that feeling I had a few years ago, it gave me that love back in my heart. I am doing more than I did before Ramadan. I feel at peace, alhamdillah [praise be to God]. So this Ramadan has become the perfect healing for what i suffered before Ramadan.
So I am happy, alhamdillah. I hope that I can build on this so that the next Ramadan can be even better. Amen 🙂