Day 4: Forgive yourself

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Say, “Shall I inform you of [something] better than that? For those who fear Allah will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah. And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants –
Those who say, “Our Lord, indeed we have believed, so forgive us our sins and protect us from the punishment of the Fire,”
The patient, the true, the obedient, those who spend [in the way of Allah ], and those who seek forgiveness before dawn. (Surat aal-Imran, 3:15-17)
Seeking forgiveness sometimes has negative connotations. In some traditions, it carries the connotation that we are inherently evil.
Throughout the Qur’an, though, we find constant reference to the lofty status of those who seek forgiveness. It is a reminder that no matter what state you are in or what you have done, you can go back to Allah. It is a statement of hope – you can change. As long as you are trying, you are on the path.
The issue, then, seems to be that we cannot forgive ourselves. We may have had high hopes for Ramadan but already on the 3rd or 4th day, we find ourselves messing up. And that feeling makes us want to give up. Sure, Allah is forgiving, but we are mad at ourselves.
This is a trick of the nafs; to tell you that punishing yourself by not trying is somehow better. Remember that you are not your Lord; Allah is.
So forgive yourself, because forgiving yourself means that you have to try. No matter how many times you fail, you will get back up. Because Allah does not get tired of your effort. He does not get bored. If Allah believes that you can become better and leaves His door open to you, who are we to insist on the contrary?

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